Divorce and Retain Family Wealth

Firstly, I do not like the term "broken family". I think divorce is always horrible in one way or another, though often necessary. However, the "inevitable" results of divorce can be reinvented. ANY wealth accumulated, even in the worst of marriages, should not go down the drain because a couple cannot stay together.

I've been divorced myself and I know the agony, the depression and the despair. I know the urge to get away from, cut all ties with someone, and create as much distance as is manageable. But if you own a home as a couple, please do anything necessary to take time and think before you go the traditional route - selling, often just to pay your attorneys.

The reason I'm writing this article is because in the past few years I've learned a lot about investment - especially in real estate. I think that it is the best investment to make, unless you are particularly in tune with stock picks. Unlike the many infomercials that give ideas on buying a home, this article deals with KEEPING your home, married or not. I know it is possible for a couple, even when divorced, can attain a degree of financial freedom, years afterwards.

Many families have a major investment - their home. It seems it is typical in a divorce to sell the family home and split the funds realized from the sale. Many couples have pensions, and other investment plans to either liquidate or allow to mature for future sharing. I am less familiar with those.

Focusing on the family home, I recommend the following.

DON"'T SELL!

Firstly, if it is possible, find an experienced paralegal who can explain all your state laws about divorce, marital settlements, et al, and then DON'T RUSH! If a family must divide quickly, and one spouse leaves the home, just be patient. Make an honest attempt to back up from the stress and emotions, just for a little while. A good paralegal will do your whole divorce, marital settlement, and parenting plans for a tenth of the price of an attorney. Don't get SCARED. The law determines how everything will go, despite the variation on long and winding roads needed in getting there. Of course, some couples will have details that will require an attorney, and that is for each to decide.
Tip! Do remain flexible. One of the most common mistakes people make when they begin a divorce is to decide that they absolutely, positively must have A, B, and C, and nothing else will be sufficient.

But, back to the home.....look around and find a property management company with a good reputation in your area. Plan for the remaining family members to move out. Rent the home! Depending on where you live, that property will appreciate. Paying the property management company to rent, and manage the tenancies will relieve you of that stress. The divorce can proceed.

Why do I recommend this? Because your home will appreciate over the years. Why sell? If you can cover the mortgage, the taxes and the insurance with tenants, why sell? Perhaps at some point, whether it be lower interest rates or enough appreciation, you can re-finance and split that profit with your former spouse. It could pay for another home or college tuition, or anything in a family's special needs. It could pay for any outstanding child support. It could pay for one or both spouses to go back to school. It is a SOURCE OF WEALTH.

A marriage is a legal contract. Just because you want to end it doesn't mean you and your spouse cannot have a DIFFERENT legal contract, as co-owners of your property. If you cannot talk to your ex, get a third party to be a middle man. You can have a trust between you, with a trustee. There is always a way!
Tip! Lack of faith in yourself and your future. Divorce is bad but it is not the end of the world! You may have some tough times but your life will go on and it may be a blessed life.

I had my divorce, custody care and marital settlement done for $1250 by a paralegal. If a home had been involved, it's fate would have been part of the marital settlement. There would have been some additional expenses for a trust, or some other contract. Perhaps another $1500.00.

I do not mean to imply that anyone should not obtain legal advice about any of the above ideas. I just say: think about it. Everyone's situation is different.

I hope this helps.

Dianne M. Buxton is a retired ballet dancer, choreographer and teacher who was exposed to real estate investment, better late than never. Currently she is starting an internet business, and also is writing screenplays with a creative writing partner, and last but not least, raising a brilliant and interesting son.